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Customer Reviews:

This is more helpful than "The Rules" and also I think better than "The Surrendered Single" - though these books all have the same principles. "Getting to I Do" explains why this principles will work - which makes them a lot easier to stick to.

I've been using the techiniques in this book and I have to say they really work, if you want to be cherished and some romance in your life - buy this book!

  Comprehensive intelligent and practical (01 October 2000)
It's been a long road trying to grasp the dynamics between masculine and feminine differences. This book gave me courage to face myself with the truth in my relationship. Something I previously refused to do. It's not easy, but with the philosophy and path suggested, you touch a belief in female dignity, even when your love is of an intensity so deep, you can identify with Wuthering Heights, 'Heathcliffe is more myself than I am.'

One fault I would suggest; sex is not a requirement for deep bonding leading to painful separation. I wait to know if I have any kudos with my love as a result of no sex until exclusivity! Today, I begin the eight week wait proffered by the book as male pain duration zone before submission or departure. We have been in love, without sex, for two years. I don't have much hope of success as I don't believe a man falls in love with your vagina. He either wants you or he doesn't. One overiding puzzle, is why does mine return month after month when he has sex elswhere? The book doesn't explain this male oddity or why, even in this situation, he would be unwilling to commit to exclusivity.

  This book's principles are working for me. (06 August 1999)
After years of throwing caution to the wind when it came to my romantic relationship I've finally realized that something I was doing and not doing were holding me back from being truly happy. This book helped me find out what the problems were and sometimes still are. With the help of this book, I set upon a strategy to make my romantic prospects flow smoothly, therefore, making every aspect of my life flow just as well. With this book I learned why I felt strangely about one situation and content with another. I realized what would truly make me happy, and choosing the feminine energy works for me.

In the past, I felt I could cushion the blow of rejection and meet a life partner by displaying the masculine energy, which only caused turmoil when in a relationship with a masculine man. A masculine man is what I want. THIS WAS THE NEGATIVE APPROACH I LET RUN MY LOVELIFE FOR OVER TWELVE YEARS. Now I choose my dates and/or partners much more carefully and I'm happier for it.

There are many books telling men and women how to pick up one another, how to have sex, wear clothes, apply makeup, etc. There are many books telling you how to do everything under the sun, but not how to love yourself, and therefore, start loving others. Its what all of us have been hearing for most of our lives, but never really knew how to do so, like with everything else we need a step-by-step plan.

This book show us how and why we have to experience temporary pain to make the rest of your lives peaceful. This book is for anyone who wants to know how to relate to the opposite sex.

This book is NOT a quick fix. I first read it over three years ago, temporarily practiced the principles, then fell into my bad habits, but with constant reference and study I've learned the principles work.

I recommended this book to everyone I knew, male and female, who are having romantic problems. None have read it, laughing and saying, "No thanks." But go on crying for months and years, paying therapists outrageous amounts of money talking about someone who is not interested in them. Wondering why things don't work out. It's sad that people choose a life of confusion.

I don't agree with everything in this book, but I do agree with 98% of it and it does work. It may sound old fashioned for some, but we all learn from history. Don't be afraid to look into the past to make the future better.

READ THIS BOOK!

  Patience (03 August 1999)
I've read some of the other reviews and would like to comment on the negative ones. At first I was put off by the title but a gentle friend of mine, after initially telling me of the book, continued to discuss passages with me when I would tell her of my relationship problems. Finally one day she brought it to me to read - just one particular passage she suggested. Well I started reading it and, like the negative reviewers, it got my hackles up at first. As I read on and tried to give it a chance I began to see glimmers of light. I soon realized that to benefit from this book (and you will one way or another) you must have patience. It really does go against so much of what we've been taught about equality and meeting men head on and it doesn't totally discourage that. One postive thread that continues throughout the entire book is self love. The author reminds us that we must first love ourself before we can love another. Remember when you read it that the first part is about catching a mate which requires patients and negotiation until the two of you find what works so you both feel mutual love. I think this book is a good read. It is definitely geared towards woman but men can benefit too. I find it much more positive about woman than Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus which seems to place a lot of relationship problems on the woman for not understanding a man. Remember we can learn something from everything we are exposed to and I think being exposed to this book is a good thing. I will say that the one part of the book that I didn't like was the author's use of examples - she always portrayed the woman as being a model, beautiful, gorgeous, sensuous - I wondered why she felt the need to paint the picture that way. Since reading this book I have purchased three more copies and sent them to friends as a gift asking them to give the book a chance in the hope they may gain some insight and find love.

  Read all the way through before passing judgement (17 July 1999)
A friend of mine is always encouraging me to go for what "cooks me". Well this book cooked me.

First off, I am a guy and this book is definitely written to the female audience. So I had to keep transposing and interpreting as I went along. As I read it I found that I was having all kinds of reactions ranging from HECK NO! to DARN RIGHT!

One of my first reactions was to a subheading in the first chapter DO YOU WANT IT ALL, OR ARE YOU WILLING TO COMPROMIXE TO GET HIM? that really pushed my buttons because one of the issues that I am working on in my life is not settling.

What kept me going through the book were the examples and how many were true for my life. One of the best insights in the book for me was that rejecting someone can be an act of love. The author advocates either accepting or rejecting someone, both are acts of love. What is not an act of love is to tolerate someone.

I think that many of my concerns with the book could have been alleviated if the material in the chapter FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES, which is at the end of the book, would have been placed at the beginning. For me, it sets the context in which the rest of the book is written rather than being a summary. It directly addresses many of the concerns that I had as I read the rest of the book.

There is much of value in here, and even though it is written for women and I don't agree with everything in the book, I'd recommend it to anyone interested in improving relationships in their life simply because it is so thought-provoking.